Motivation

If you ever want to make fun of actors all you do is walk up to someone and say in as serious a voice as you can muster (plus a British accent helps) "What's my motivation?"

I have recently taken to thinking quite often to myself (in a British accent) "Where's my motivation?" I know What my motivation is. It's that I'm a young newlywed trying to get decent grades and work in a job so that I can support my family now and in the future. I know exactly what my motivation is. I just seem to have misplaced it.

The other day I got up at 6:00 a.m. to finish some Spanish homework that I'd left off the night before because I'd simply been too exhausted for rational thought. Sounds motivated right, getting up early, rising against the forces of gravity and momentum in order actually get oneself out of bed and start the day.

Well, I did those things. I was motivated. Then I sat on the couch with my laptop open on my lap for two hours staring at the Spanish homework on the screen. NOTE: I was not perusing facebook, or other things. I was simply sitting and staring. This seems to be happening to me quite often as of late. I find it distressing, and when I look at my grades I find it more distressing.

Perhaps I'm exhausted from the fact that I have class from nine to noon everyday, followed by work from twelve thirty to five followed by homework.

Of course, one contributing factor I believe was that for the two months at the beginning of the semester I would come home from work at five and then go to rehearsal from six to eleven. I was simply exhausted. I still am. I'm not even taking a heavy class schedule. I think that this is the lightest course load I've ever had. That does not bode well.

Anyway, more on that later. But if you see my motivation anywhere, let me know.