What I Was Thinking

In my last entry I left a dangler at the beginning about how going to the James River Footbridge had led me on some interesting lines of thought, but then I got so caught up telling the story of the bridge that I never told what I was thinking. So here it goes...

While walking back across the footbridge with my friend Ben, I was telling him how much fun I had had. That sometimes, all you needed in life was warm water and a place to jump into it from. I think that that's a very true sentiment. And there is a part of me that wants that, and wants the things that could give me that. Confession time I suppose.

My dad works at Southern Virginia University. A small college, with a small campus and a good student body. It seems... intimate somehow. Not with the people there, although you get that feeling. But with the school itself. Intimacy in a relationship I suppose is safety and confidence when sharing your feelings. I share my feelings alot, especially to SVU. There is a beauty and a grace to the school, and when I talk to the walls of the 200 year old main hall (I only do this in my head so I don't get weird looks as I walk down the hallways) I really feel like they listen. A very big part of me has decided that my life could take much worse courses of actions than to come back and fill my father's shoes teaching at this school.

But what to do in the mean time? I suppose that I could graduate and go straight to grad school. The familial years of starving grad students are defining times I hear. or get a regular job that would support my family and put the rest on hold. Graphic and web design are things that I'm good at and that I enjoy doing. With that kind of job I would have stability and a more permanent place to live with my wife and raise my family. I'd get a house in a small town, the kind that you never see on the news or that never does anything controversial, and take my kids to go swimming in the river. That seems like a good plan doesn't it? A life well lived, working a job that earns a living, but doesn't affect much of anything outside of who's paying you to do it. Maybe end up teaching. Again those words come back, "a life well lived," "the salt of the Earth." Sounds pretty good. I'm betting that it sounds really good to my soon-to-be wife Kaitlin (who is the best woman in the world) These are things that I want, and that she wants too. I'm already looking forward to the day that I can edit this blog entry and replace the random picture of a family that I found with one of my own. So you can see my kids there, and I can point, smile, and brag, and do all those other things dads are supposed to do. That is exactly the kind of family that I want.

One small hitch, not so deep down inside me there's something else. Call it whatever you want, call it the Call of Duty, a desire to make a larger difference, to be a part of something larger, a thirst for adventure. I think, that to me, calling it the call of duty fits best. When I was talking to my friend Ben, I was telling him how much I enjoyed swimming in the river and jumping the bridge. But at the same time I knew that those were freedoms and opportunities that I had that were not universal. We can talk about the universal right to the pursuit of happiness all we want, but some people are able to come a big step closer because of the things that other people do for them. It's not just a metaphor, that there's a wall out there where good men stand to keep evil at bay. That's a wall built by freedom loving men and women, and maintained by the self-sacrifice of the same. I'm betting that everyone reading this has seen on the news what happens when destruction and hate come over that wall. I don't know why, I don't know the reason that I feel like I have to earn my place in this country, or why I want to make a difference. There are others willing to do the job but I'm pulled toward it. I don't know what it would take to satisfy this feeling. I want to work for my country and I feel pulled toward the Army. We'll see what the future holds, Army, Air Force, FBI, or anything else.

What's a man to do?

Throwing Myself Off a Bridge

It's not a threat, or hidden compulsion that my parents somehow instilled in me, it's what I did today.

It also led me to some interesting lines of thought on my part, but I'll get to those once I've described what I did today. When you leave Buena Vista and right before you get to Big Island there is a pull off that leads to the James River Footbridge which leads to a part of the Appalachian Trail. The Bridge is at least two hundred meters long and (at the level of the base) roughly 35 feet above the water. I could be wrong, judge for yourself, that blue fuzz on the bridge is a person standing on it. On the wilderness side of the river where the bridge meets the trail there are large stone "steps" that lead to the water. You can barely see them in the first picture. It's a popular place to go swimming and for the more adventurous it's fun to jump off those stone steps. (Different levels of steps for varying levels of courage.) I started with the steps and jumped a few times, then had fun trying to climb up the rock walls, falling back into the water any time I'd made significant progress.

For the truly brave you can jump off of the last pylon that's at the end of the bridge as well. As you can see here it's about level with the bottom of the bridge so my guesstimate would be about 35 feet above the water. It is pretty fun jumping off the pylon, the jump is high enough that you actually get that weightless feeling of free fall right before you hit the water. Make sure you land correctly though or you might find yourself hurting. On clear days, which it was today the pylons are also large enough and in the sun enough that they are perfect for sunbathing. The only significant thing about that is that you might find yourself unable to jump because a girl might have claimed your spot.

Out in the water under the bridge there is what looks like a former pylon that you can swim out to and climb up on if you are a) physically fit, b) tall, or c) have friends that are a) or b) that are willing to help you. You can climb up on it and use it as a smaller, more personal jumping platform. We got even better though, some guys that were hiking the Appalachian trail that day had set up some ropes between it and the second pylon out and were trying to slackrope walk across. It was pretty funny because you can't pull a rope very taut as it is, and the one that they chose had a lot of slack on it anyway. We tried it and it was their turn to do the laughing at us falling off the rope.

After we had spent some time doing that it was time for us to return to the bridge and for me to perform my masculine rite of passage. I'd already jumped off the pylon that was level with the bridge, but I had yet to jump the bridge. This is different from the pylon in several ways. There is no easy way of getting on the other side of the guardrails, you have to climb through the truss, and hold on for dear life as you lower yourself to the bottom rail of the truss, then you have to find a way to turn around and face the water all the while holding on. This is because with the trusses built the way they are there is only room for you to stand leaning outward so if you let go you fall and end up doing a thirty foot bellyflop. However, I overcame my trepidation... and jumped.

There are those crazy enough to jump off the top rail of the bridge, (Which is another nightmare of climbing up.) I have yet to join their ranks, but I plan on going back...

And That's the Way It Ought To Be

Walter Cronkite was known as "the most trusted man in America." He was particularly known for ending his news broadcasts with the phrase "And that's the way it is." That's a fine thing for a journalist who is trying to maintain objectivity to say don't you think?

However, my blog is not me trying to report things in the world as they are. I suppose that some element of blogging consists of journal like entries that merely report the events of the day to day. (Although instead of hiding it under the mattress we immediately post it in the public domain for anyone to read.) My blog will probably consist of things like that. However I also have the terrible handicap of when writing something that others will read (ah, my delusions of grandeur begin) I feel it should be significant. I cannot report by rote the events of day to day. What would that mean, how would it edify you?

As you can see pride easily takes ahold of me and I immediately place myself in the position of edifying you. (But at least I take the responsibility my pride places upon me seriously!) And thus quite frequently I find myself not writing anything until I know that I've had a grand epiphany that all of humanity will benefit from. Or, as in this case, writing at close to three o'clock in the morning when both my judgement and inhibitions are skewed making me think I've written something grand and important.

Anyway, more to the point, I've named this blog "That's the Way It Ought To Be" because I want to be able to look beyond the mundane, and see the possibilities. I suppose that if there were a statement of purpose for this blog, that would be it. To give you my perspective, on what would make this world a better/more interesting place. At the same time I suppose you should know what you are getting yourselves into so here are my blogger principles:

• This blog is mine, it will consist merely of my thoughts and does not nor should it reflect on those assosciating with me.
• To the extent that it is mine, yet remains public, this blog will not be used to insult any other human being aside from myself. No one is an exception to this, I do not bash, flame, roast, criticize, belittle, insult, or disrespect people.
• I do however, write about people. I like to think of myself as a student of human nature and I watch people and try to infer meaning and motivation from actions. There will probably be times where I will mention people (by first name only) and mention some mundane thing that they've done.
• I like to be complimentary, I don't think people do it enough.
• I like to make painfully miserable attempts at being funny or witty.

Well, you've been warned, if you (imaginary person in my head that will find the things I write interesting) have read all of the above and want to stick with it. Then welcome aboard, I'll try to make it an interesting ride.